Thursday, April 18, 2013

Second Half, Let The Games Begin!

I just got word from my IVF nurse with a new schedule for the second half of this whole process. I was a little shocked at how many meds I still have to take: pills, SC injections, IM injections, vag suppositories (hell yeah the party is about to start right here), and hormone "patches". Luckily it isn't for a lengthy period of time but after reading all the side effects of these meds I know it may be a pretty rough ride for the hormones.

Please, dear husband, have patience with me and know if a two-headed emotional monster emerges it will be corralled back to its cave soon; I promise. This last month the hormone fluctuation wasn't too bad so maybe I will have little to no issues this next bit. Fingers crossed.

I know this is premature but I've been following a few bloggers that have me nearly peeing my pants laughing with their witty sarcasm and one of them just brought up something I can only say "holy hell" about.

To those who are near and dear to me, please don't even consider purchasing me one of the following items for our baby's birth:

Lotus Birth Bags: It's a decorative bag that you tuck your placenta into (yes still attached to the baby) and carry it around for 3-11 days until the cord falls off. Fucking Gross. I can just imagine laying the baby down for a nap only to find Argos (or better yet our cat) snuggled in the crib and gnawing at the delicious feast he just discovered. 

Placenta Teddy Bear: This is going to give me nightmares. The only thing I could think that would make this more creepy is to stick a light bulb up its butt for a baby nightlight. "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose".

Birth Wreath: First off, that tulle just makes me want to itch looking at it as I reminisce back to my ballet costume days. Second, those that know me, know I am not a frou-frou accessory kind of girl. If you want to be cute and do something "extra special" for the delivery, go the spa gift card route so I can feel slightly less than an orca post delivery.


I am sure I could list off a few more WTF links but I'll stop here. If you are pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or just need some good laughs check out  Pregnant Chicken site. She cracks me up and horrifies me at the same time. It's true, some books never tell you the whole story...that's where she comes in.

Will keep you posted on the shenanigans at the mountain ranch here....

1 comment:

  1. holy hell indeed! i just threw up a little in my mouth re: the lotus birth bag. that just sounds HIGHLY unsanitary, among a million other things! hilarious though. just... wow.

    fingers crossed your hormone monster stays at bay! i can only imagine! i hope it isn't bad at all. based on my HCG side effects last IUI round... it's not gonna be pretty up in here once the big time hormone treatments start.

    lord help us all!

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